To celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month, we are sharing another story written by a loving Mom (& proofread by Dad!). They began their domestic adoption journey to become first-time parents over 12 years ago. Along the way, they’ve handled unexpected challenges with grace and stayed the path they felt meant to be on. Together, they have built an adorable little family …one adoption at a time, and are now raising three gorgeous kiddos! Again, we have Facebook to thank for an ongoing connection ~ and the privilege of watching their family enjoy a lovely life together. Many thanks to her for sharing the blessings of Motherhood, below.
Blessed To Be a Mom
I knew. I knew for as far back as I could remember. He pointed all the signs and my heart to adoption. It was just going to be a part of my life and I saw the signs that God was giving me the entire time I was growing up. Little hints along the way. Confirmation came the night I found out my boyfriend (and now my husband) was adopted. It made me smile because at that moment I knew he was the one. If adoption was in our future, he would be the perfect mate to raise adopted children with because his experiences would strengthen our journey. Thank you God, for yet another sign that I was walking the right path all those years ago.
I remember early on sitting across from our IVF doctor after several failed and intrusive IVF attempts and flat out asking him, “Is this going to work or should we move on to adoption?” His response, after all these years, is still so vivid in my mind and even stings a little, “Well, that would be like giving up”. If he only knew what “giving up” meant to our family today, I’m pretty sure his response would be different. We “gave up” only to “give in” to a lifetime of happiness, family, and ultimately parenthood with three amazing and adopted children.
We have been given the privilege of walking three amazing little people through childhood and life all because of adoption. Our oldest son is 12, our middle son is 9, and our daughter is 6. We were fortunate enough to be present for all three of their births, taking in the sights and sounds of each. Hearing first cries, cutting cords, watching first baths, seeing first smiles, and holding swaddled newborns in our arms. Each birth was so unique and different and today distinguishes who they are. We were given three very special and unique gifts and promised to take care of each of them. And yes, there is life after adoption.
In the beginning, people asked so many questions. I would share our story and see wide eyes always starting back at me. The most frequent was, “Can they take the baby back?” I wanted to tape a sign to my forehead that said, “Yes, they can the baby back, but we are willing to take the risk to be able to parent these children”. And it did happen. And it stunk. BUT without the devastating moment of our failed adoption, we would not have the children we have today; God’s path, God’s time. We relinquished, let go, and trusted. My mother in law was so worried about our “open adoption” and how difficult that would be. She says I taught her a lesson that day when I responded, “but that means our children will have two more people to love them and why would we want anything less than for them to be loved fully by others?”
Last week, I was at lunch with a girlfriend and we were discussing our children, as most mommies do. We were sharing successes and struggles. We were saying how frustrating the teenage eye roll can be. “Yes”, my friend said to me, “you give birth to them, the least they can do is not roll their eyes at you”. And in that moment we both laughed because she had completely forgotten that, I didn’t physically give birth to my kids. We have given them a good life, a family, and a whole lot of love. Giving birth is not required to raise a family. Adoption is part of who they are, who we are as a family, and a selfless gift given to my husband and me. We are raising them with all the same struggles and success as any other family; baseball, Band-Aids and bruises, dance, tears, soccer, student council, failed tests, school awards, and the all so frustrating sibling squabbles. You see, it’s no different. We tackle each day as a family; a very blessed family full of adopted children.
Every once in a while when I hear one of them call me “mom”, I smile, turn, and see a sweet child staring back at me. I realize they are talking to ME, their mom, and know it was all worth it, every single tear, heartache, and disappointment throughout our adoption journey. I love being their mom and will continue to help guide, nurture and love them as they grow up and become adults. I appreciate life so much more because of our struggles to have a family but know we are better off because of our three precious gifts. My HOME is full of children, my MIND is full of memories, and my HEART is full of love. And I’m pretty sure that makes me one very blessed MOM.